|Family, sans Hank|
I love Nursing. I love working with people, whether they are healthy or sick, I love making a difference in peoples lives, I love advocating, I love being a voice for someone who might not have a voice, I love vulnerable populations, I love it all. I love the diversity. You don't have to stick with just one area, and I surely do not plan to. I want to do it all, I want to do anything, as long as it makes me happy.
I currently juggle three jobs; working on a Concurrent Disorders Program (Addiction and Mental Illness), The Psychiatric Unit at my Local Hospital and the Remand Center.
I love my dad. He is so supportive.
I have 2 Step Sisters (Dee and Sherry), and a Step Bro (Trev), and I love them all so much.
Matthias - The best Husband and Soul Mate a Gal could ask for.
Ingrid, Mathias, Michael, Flo - My second family, and Matthias's family.
Dance was a huge part of my life, and my sanity. I was brought up as a dancer of all kinds - Ballet, Tap, Jazz, Modern, Lyrical, and Hip Hop. My weight hindered my abilities, but I was still "good".
In 2011/2012, I taught my last year of dance, a 3-4 year old Jazz, Ballet, Tap class, a 5 year old Jazz, Ballet, Tap class, and a 6-9 Jazz/Tap class! It was lots of fun but now that I am an RN I don't have the time to continue with teaching. I still sub from time to time, but now I enjoy the art from the audience instead of the stage.
Pets (My kids...)
3 Kitties - Oliver, he gets what he wants, when he wants it, there is no saying no to him, and Olivia, my sweet princess, who, like her mother (me) used to do, eats for comfort. She is overweight and very talkative. I enjoy my conversations with her. Oakley, our newest girl is C.R.A.Z.Y. I have never met such an energetic kitteh and she brightens up our life with her spunk.
3 Pups - Tucker, the rottweiler, and one of my very best friends, I couldn't have asked for a better dog, He is very well behaved, he is kind, gentle, and so loving. Rosie is a border collie/rotti cross. Very well mannered, with lots of love to give. And Hank, such a cute guy, he is a German Shephard Alaskan Malamute Cross, and he is so Goofy and Unique.
Diet and Weight Loss
I had been overweight since the age of 15. Prior to that, I was average. When I was 15 I met my first "serious" boyfriend and we were a pretty bad influence on each others lifestyles. We ate, and were extremely inactive, and in 1 year I gained 60lb. I remained heavy throughout high school, and in grade 12 I joined Weight Watchers with the hope of getting back down to the size I was before. I lost 12lb, lost focus, and gained it all back. For the next 3 years I lost and re-gained the same 12lb, never able to get below the 175lb marker.
February 13th, 2010, I was at work with my best friend Kate, and 2 young men came in to order coffee. I don't remember their faces, but I do remember the fact that they didn't even look my way, and when I spoke to them they responded to my friend. I was very self conscious about my weight, but this was the changing moment in my life. I no longer wanted to be invisible. I went home, cried in the shower, while my boyfriend had no idea, and made this blog. That was the deciding factor of my current success.
Slowly, but surely, I changed my eating habits, and began to lose weight on Weight Watchers. In the beginning, it wasn't for health, it was for beauty and attention. Only after 6 or 7 months did I realize how I actually wanted this because I loved being healthy. The weight came off slow. That is because I was reluctant to change many habits that I had formed. I loved junk. I loved Chocolate (Still do.), Chips, and ALL forms of fast food, McDonald's being my favorite.
I would secretly binge when I felt down. I would not so secretly binge when I felt up. I would go to McDonald's, eat an entire Big Mac Meal and Cheeseburger, and hide the bag so that no one would know. I would suggest McDonalds after a late movie and buy 2 Mac Snack Wraps, a Large Fries and Mayo and down it all. I wasn't being honest with anyone, or myself. I needed a drastic change.
November 27th, I made the decision to become a vegetarian, and there has been no going back since. I love being a vegetarian. It has provided me with the freedom to fall in love with vegetables, fruits, and other whole foods, and have an excuse to say no to all the stuff I used to over indulge in. No more Cheeseburgers, No more meat filled pizza, No more chicken strips, NOTHING. I have never been happier. I love being meat free and the way my body feels. I feel more whole.
Currently, my only downfall is Chocolate, other sweets and munchies, and although I am usually good with moderation I still have my bad days. This is a learning process, and it will be lifelong. I face my days one at a time, and I try to track my food and activity and am slowly learning what works best for my body. Right now, I am working on my intuitive eating, while focusing on a whole foods approach.
Matthias and I took a 14 month break during the time the majority of my weight was lost. We spent that time learning about ourselves, meeting new people, and becoming stronger and more independent.
I hit my goal weight range in June, 2011, after 16 months of hard work. Since then, I have dropped below my weight range (dropping down to 121lb) and gone above my goal weight range (between 150-160). I look at every experience as a learning experience about my body, my relationship with food, and my relationship with myself. I don't beat myself up for gaining back 15-20lb from my weight range because quite frankly, I was terrified about how I was going to maintain when I wasn't even sure how I had gotten to that weight anyways (the last 8lb lost weren't planned). I was cold all the time (in the middle of summer), I would get light headed when I stood up to quick, and I felt hunger and deprivation every day. Not to mention the hypoglycemia I randomly suffered from. I also lost my period for 10 months. It wasn't until I gained 10lb back (putting me at about 140lb) that I got my period back.
I was swinging from one spectrum of eating disorder (Binge Eating) to the other spectrum (Anorexia). I was unrealistic with my goals, my expectations of myself, and what I needed to do to be healthy AND happy. When I was at my smallest, you bet I was happy, but I certainly wasn't healthy. I was obsessive, structured, and irrational.
Matthias and I got back together in December of 2011. We had both lost large amounts of weight (about 60lb each), changed our eating habits (no more fast food, we are both currently pescetarian), and fallen in love with exercise (while he enjoys the weights, I was more in to cardio). Since the time that we have gotten back together I have gained about 25lb. Not all of it is fat, I am MUCH stronger than I was, but not all of it is muscle either.
I went from a size 14 (on a good day!) - 16, to a 2. I went from a size 2, to a 6 (on a good day!) - 8/10. My chest went from a 36DD to a 34C. My shirt size went from XL to S, and then to M.
Right now, I am happier with my life than I have ever been before. I take pride in my ability to find balance in most situations. I focus on whole, nutritious, food. I indulge every day. I am slowly finding what works for me right now, and I am happy, and healthy, and that is what matters now!
I feel like I have finally found the love of my body that I have been looking for this entire process. When I was overweight, I was unhappy with my body and lifestyle. When I was underweight I had no time for anything but focusing on keeping my body small and my lifestyle restricted. Now I focus on being healthy; mentally, physically and spiritually. When I was overweight I didn't care what I put in my body. When I was underweight I cared too much about what I put in to my body and what other people put in to their bodies. Now I care about balance, peace, and acceptance.
I no longer advocate for calorie counting, my fitness pal, or weight loss through excessive cardio.
I advocate for acceptance of our imperfections, eating whole foods and other things in moderation, laughing every day, and finding time to thank myself and appreciate every ounce, every cell, every thought, every struggle and triumph that makes me, me.
Lets Get Physical
I ran my first Half Marathon on September 11th, 2011, and was able to run 2 more in Summer 2012. I was never a "runner" before, but I suppose that was because I was never really active aside from dance. I picked up running pretty easily and I love it. I love the runner's high, I love the feeling of my feet hitting the pavement, I love just being out there and not having to worry about anything else.
I ran my first (and most likely last) full marathon on May 19th, 2013. It was grueling, emotionally taxing, and one of the hardest things I have ever done. It was worth every second, but it also made me realize that I really love the half marathon distance, and running farther than that becomes a chore and not something I do for fun. For now, my plan is to get stronger with weight training and faster with shorter distances.
I try to be active for at least 45 minutes 5 days per week. My mind, body and soul thank me so much when I am active, busy, and taking time for me. I no longer scoff at exercise or try to back out. It is something that I do because I enjoy it, I love pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying new things to keep my body moving.
I LOVE CROSSFIT. SO. MUCH. The variety, the combo of strength and cardio while focusing on functional movements, the camaraderie, the challenge, the power I feel when I am done a class. It is so so fun!
Workouts I Love:
- Running - A Given.
- Indoor Soccer!
- Yoga - So revitalizing and relaxing. I don't do it nearly enough.
- Interval Training - I like to do anything in intervals whether it be hill training, stair training, cardio/weight training, or a interval based work out class. They really help increase your overall cardiovascular health resulting in faster run times and a shorter workout because you are working really hard in short bursts!
- Spin - My favorite workout class to take. Which my current gym doesn't offer. Sad Face.
- Walking - I love taking my dogs to the Dog Park.
- Strength Training - A necessity to keep the weight off and to keep bones strong.
- My biggest suggestions/recommendation: Do what you love. If you don't love it don't do it because you will not commit or work to your full potential. Everyone is individual and not every work out will work for you! Experiment, Keep it Fresh, and HAVE FUN!
Hobbies and Such
- Writing in My Blog :)
- Cruisin' the Net
- Coffee, Scones ;) - Yes, this is a hobbie.
- Walking the dogs
- Spending time with my family, and friends
Words to Live By
Be the change you wish to see in the world. - Gandhi
When you go to a place, know that you're as beautiful as the most beautiful person there because you are made of the same material.
Life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences, but rather, it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite sublime plan. - Serendipity
Things don't happen to you, they happen for you, and whether or not it is clear to you, have no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love. I am a whole complex package. Take me, or leave me. Accept me - or walk away. Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision.
When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad - you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.
If I keep at my goal, it has no choice but to give in.
I think that is all folks.... Hope you learned a bit about me! Thank you for taking the time to be here!