healthy |ˈhelθē|adjective ( healthier , healthiest )in good health: : feeling fit and healthy.• (of a part of the body) not diseased : healthy cells.• indicative of, conducive to, or promoting good health : a healthy appetite | a healthy balanced diet.• (of a person's attitude) sensible and well balanced : a healthy contempt for authority.• figurative in a good condition• desirable; beneficial• A conscious choice; A life-long commitment.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap That Wasn't

Last year I had the privilege to participate in the Great Food Blogger Cookie Swap. I had a good time, and of course its for a good cause, so when I got an email inviting me to sign up again, I jumped at the chance. Being one with little patience, I immediately looked up a recipe for the cookies I wanted to bake, and then headed to the grocery store that night to cook them. 4 dozen cookies later (1 for me, 3 for the swap), I packed everything up and tossed them in the freezer so that they would be fresh for shipping.

It wasn't until a few days later that I got an email saying that I wasn't eligible to participate because I didn't have enough recent food-centered posts on the blog.

So that's cool. I didn't get a refund of the money I donated (only 4$, but still kind of silly since I wasn't allowed to partake) and I sure as heck didn't get a refund for the money I paid for the ingredients to bake the cookies that were in my freezer.

Needless to say, I was popular with my patients that week. I brought in the cookies and shared them among co-workers and among the patients on the units.

I thought I should share the recipe regardless. Because you know, I like to post about food once in a while. ;)

esspressocookiesEspresso Double Chocolate Chip Cookies (source)


  • 4 cups all-purpose flour

  • 1 cup cocoa powder

  • 1 teaspoon salt

  • 1 teaspoon baking soda

  • 2 tablespoons corn starch

  • 4 tablespoons instant espresso powder

  • 2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

  • 1 1/2 cups unsalted butter, softened

  • 2 cup packed light-brown sugar

  • 1 cup granulated sugar

  • 3 tbsp ground flax mixed with 1/4 cup water for flax egg

  • 1 1/2 packages dark chocolate chips

  • 1/2 cup walnuts

Cooking Directions;

  1. Step 1

    Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper; set aside.

  2. Step 2

    In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, cocoa powder, salt, corn starch, and baking soda; set aside. In a small bowl, stir together espresso powder, vanilla, and a tablespoon of water; set aside. Mix flax with water and set aside.

  3. Step 3

    Cream butter and sugars together on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add flax egg; mix until incorporated. Add espresso mixture; mix well, scraping down the sides of a bowl with a spatula. At low speed, add flour mixture in small batches, mixing until just combined. Stir in chocolate chunks and walnuts.

  4. Step 4

    Form 1 inch balls and place about 1 inch apart on baking sheet. The cornstarch prevents the cookies from flattening out too much, so they turn out nice and puffy, almost brownie-like. Bake until cookies are set, about 18 minutes. Remove from oven; let cool completely before removing cookies.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Acceptance Update

Welcome to DECEMBER.

Seriously, where did this year go? I can't even believe that I am writing this post and that it is the END OF THE YEAR. I need to start thinking about a word for 2014!

2013. The Year of Acceptance.

Truth: I started 2013 at a real low point in my life. My self esteem seemed non-existent, I was gaining weight, I was apathetic towards everything (including my relationships with my loved ones), and I just had this awful feeling something bad was going to happen.

Truth Number Two: Something bad probably would have happened if I hadn't gotten help.

I started seeing a counselor at the End of January. I saw her three times in total. That was all I needed. My friend Annette suggested a book for me to read called "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" and that really was the catalyst for my change.

I read the book, I did the homework, I reflected, I journalled, I made my mental health a priority, I made my relationships a priority. At the end of a 2 month period I felt back on track with the life I wanted to live. I had rediscovered my strength and my worth.

Since that time, honestly and truthfully, I have felt very good. I no longer stress about overeating, about skipping a workout, or about the possibility that I might be a shitty parent one day.

I have come to terms with the re-gain of weight, and I can see that it stemmed from old habits, emotional instability, and poor coping skills.

I have strengthened the relationship I have with my body, I treat it with the respect it deserves and I practice positive self talk. The negative thoughts are almost non-existent, it is refreshing and freeing. :)

I have grieved the loss of relationship with my biological father, and my biological mother. I am at a point of peace with the fact that I didn't have an ideal childhood, but I have come past that with triumph and strength and no one can take that away from me.

A list of Truth's going forward from here:

  • I am strong, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

  • I am loved, by my husband and adopted father, my sister, and my friends.

  • I am beautiful and unique, both inside and out.

  • I am a good person.

  • I am smart, funny, and mature.

  • I have a body that has done so much for me despite my lack of consistent care: It has run more miles this year than any in the past, it has lifted heavier things than I ever have before, and it has taught me that other peoples ideals aren't my own, and that is Ok.

  • I will be the best mother I can be one day when I have kids, I will be in charge of making my relationships with them, not my history.

  • I don't think I have a happy weight. But I can have a happy lifestyle.

  • I am healthy, and I make healthy choices.

2013 started out as a struggle, but it is ending the happiest I have ever felt. I am so incredibly lucky. I don't know how next year could ever be better than this one!