But that's okay because I am still publishing a post. Can you believe tomorrow is the LAST DAY of the August Break? So I probably will resort to posting 3-4 times a week again, but I feel like it has really gotten my creative juices flowing.
Now today's focus is "Sign" and instead of taking that literally (as in a sign on a road), I am going to share a little bit about my spirituality, my search for spiritual freedom, and where I am at today.
Back when I started this whole healthy living journey I didn't realize that spirituality was a part of a healthy lifestyle. I was focused on the number on the scale, the size of my jeans, and the amount of ell-bee's (lb's) I lost.
It was about 8-ish months in that I was almost knocked over by the realization that I had been eating as a way to hide my inner anxiety about my lack of spirituality. I was terrified of death and dying, I was absolutely a wreck about "2012" and I couldn't even think about my mortality without crying.
A lot of that has to do with fear of the unknown. Which isn't necessarily irrational, but I was taking it to an extreme.
As someone who didn't grow up at all surrounded by organized religion I "knew" some things already about my belief system: I didn't believe in God. I didn't believe in Hell. I wanted to believe in a Heaven, but I was skeptical.
So that left a whole lot of uncertainty which caused a whole lot of anxiety, which caused a whole lot of running away (aka eating my feelings).
Once I realized this, I was able to reflect on my life, my struggles and triumphs, and come up with a set of beliefs about spirituality that both calmed my nerves, and made me feel more complete as a person.
- I believe in being a good person.
- I believe in Karma.
- I want to help people.
- I can be a light in someones day.
- I believe in the power of the universe.
- Uncertainty is daunting, so I chose to focus on today.
- I believe that everything happens for a reason.
- I absolutely believe in the greater good of humanity.
Those are some pretty broad beliefs, and I don't think they fit in a nice little box of "religion" but they help guide my choices and my day. They give me peace of mind when I am anxious and they outline my values and beliefs.
So, no, I still don't know what happens to people when they die.
And yes, 2013 came an went (thank goodness).
And no, my date of death is still up in the air. Although there are internet quizzes one could take if they really wanted to find out. ;)
What I do know, is that I can make the choice today to be a good person, I can maybe touch a life or 2, I can smile at a stranger, buy someones coffee at the drive through, give my cats a can of wet food, and sing to my puppies and get them all worked up.
I respect your beliefs, and I hope that you'll respect mine too. I am not here to tell you your religion is wrong, your beliefs are silly, or your value system is lacking. Those are your beliefs, values, and spirituality. I have no right to judge that or compare it to my own.
That is part your beautiful journey, and it will have its ups and its downs, and it will test your faith and your happiness, and you will come out a stronger individual.