I have talked about numbers in the past here and here and here. Throughout my weight loss and maintenance journey's I have sought to find my "Normal". Essentially; I want to find a number that I can maintain, without second thought, without planning my every food-move.
I got down to 120lb and I was terrified about how I was going to maintain it.
So I went up to 124-127 and I still meticulously counted calories, restricted certain foods, and exercised too much.
Then I got up to 130lb. I didn't think too much about it, but I felt like a failure for not being able to stay at 120lb. So I still semi-counted what I was eating, with the goal to eventually get back down.
Right now I am hovering between 132-135lb.
I am writing down my foods in a journal, no calories attached, and no planning ahead. I simply eat, and then track after. I semi-plan my suppers (because I work evenings and am out of the house), but I don't plan by the week, just for the day.
What is my normal? Am I there now? Will I continue to gain and get to 140? How often should I weigh myself? Should I exercise more/less? So. Many. Questions.
It is challenging to not know. To think I will have the same body for 50 years is unreasonable, I get that. But for right now.. how much more "change" will I need to go through before I find something that I can keep up without it controlling my life?
I feel like I am close... but I don't know if I am there yet.