Thank you so much for the thoughtful comments on my last post. I especially enjoyed reading about Hypothalamic Amenorrhea over at My Food'n'Fitness Diaries. This is most likely what is going on with my body and I plan to discuss it my with Doc on Tuesday.
I realize that it takes a lot to overcome disordered thinking regarding food, the self, and exercise. I don't think one with a history of this type of thinking will be without slip ups when going forward.
Let me just say that placing a numerical value on my goals was not healthy and a step in the wrong direction. Why is 125lb or a Size 2 the numbers my disordered brain is focused on? The healthy brained Amie screams "NO! Accept your body, eat healthy whole foods, don't count calories." And I tend to lean towards that. Whether it be continued "Diet Burnout" or a greater appreciation for nutrition, who knows, but I know in my heart that I don't want to count calories for the rest of my life. I set it as one of my goals for 2012. "Transition - Not Counting Calories", I don't want this to be a life long numbers game. This is my life, not a mathematical equation.
Now, I do think that keeping a food journal is an important aspect of healthy living, at least in my case. With my love of chocolate, I can easily go overboard. Once in a while, that isn't a bad thing. But with so much going on in my life, 1 halloween sized bar can turn in to 6 without me even realizing it. That isn't healthy in anyone's books. Tracking what I eat, without calories attached, will help me to ensure I am focusing on consuming the healthy type of foods, the unprocessed stuff, and stay away from the junk.
Do I want to run a marathon? Absolotuley. That wasn't a spur of the moment decision. I have wanted to run a full marathon since I caught the running bug. Do I want to run a marathon to lose weight? No. That never crossed my mind. So I know that is a goal that I want to keep. Regardless of weight and size. I DO realize the importance of properly fueling the body when running lots and lots of miles. I have considered reintroducing seafood (mainly shrimp and salmon) when I begin marathon training. I plan to discuss marathon nutrition with my Doc as well on Tuesday and if I get the go-ahead from him I will be doing lots of research on this.
Do I want to do crossfit? Yes. I took a class yesterday and today I am SO SO SO sore. It was awesome. I got in a great sweat and felt like I really accomplished something. In fact, I signed up for a "Crossfit 101" to learn the basics starting tomorrow for 2 weeks :) I will do an update at the end about how that went for me. Do I want to do crossfit to lose weight? No I want to do crossfit to increase my strength, try something new, meet new people, and become more well rounded with my fitness.
This was the WOD Yesterday:
Partner WOD, only one can do work at a time
- 10 HSPU
- 20 Pull ups
- 30 Box Jumps
- 40 Sit-ups
- 50 ?? (I don't remember)
- 60 Lateral jumps
- 70 Flutter kicks
- 80 Air squats
- 90 Double-unders
- 100 Mountain climber
Then do them all going from the mountain climbers down to the Hand Stand Pushups.
Kicked. My. Ass.
I can see the "Weight Loss" Food plan in my mind. And it honestly makes me cringe. It is so far removed from focusing on health, whole foods, and a balance of carbs, fat, and protein. That is NOT what I want.
So lets take the number out of it. Lets re-focus on whole foods, tracking food but not calories, and moving my body because I like to, not because I have to.