So the past three weeks have been a little bit stressful for me. Matthias and I thought we were pregnant. Like legitimately pregnant. I recently went off the pill, and there was a .... mistake .... and I haven't had a period in 8 weeks. I kept testing negative (I took 4 pregnancy tests over the span of the last 3 weeks), and I had no signs of pregnancy, but we were almost convinced that I was. I finally caved and went to a walk in clinic in Edmonton, got some blood taken, and saw my doctor yesterday.
I suppose I am VERY thankful that I am NOT pregnant. I am more conservative and traditional. I want to be married, have a house, and feel financially ready for a baby. Granted, if I were to get pregnant, I still have a degree (!!!!!), Matthias is a journeyman electrician, and we have a once-in-a-lifetime love that would outlast any hardships, so I know I would be "ok", but I want to be more than just "ok". I have a lot of Parenty-Issues (I can't say just Mommy or Daddy Issues, because it is most definitely both) and I want to not make the same mistakes that my parents made with me. I want to be a loving and supportive mother. I want to have enough to provide for my kids, physically, and mentally, and I want to be a stable role model for them. I'm not saying I had a horrendous childhood or anything like that, but I did have a lot of instability that has really played in to the type of person I am today. I try to keep my family issues separate from the blog. I am tres sensitive about it. I already feel like I have a lot on my plate, raising my 13 year old sister, trying to save enough to buy a house, living with my dad (who isn't my sister's dad), that an unplanned pregnancy would just be so much to handle.
Dallas, Stephanie D, Stephanie S, Danielle, and Kate. They are the ones who will be around. This post is for them. Love you ladies.