This fear was legitimate. At the same time, this fear was irrational. I started running in February of 2011, over a year ago now. That is when I really focused on changing my life. Everything leading up to that month was important (becoming a vegetarian, giving up fast food, ext...), but I really believe exercise was the last mountain for me to climb to build a healthy and long lasting lifestyle. It was the missing link to a sustainable future.
During the summer, I was active. Like a lot. Even with sciatica, I was walking 2 hours a day, exercising 5-6 times a week (1-1.5hr each time), and eating healthy. At the time, I was surprised I kept losing weight. But reflecting now, I am not. I was easily surpassing my caloric intake with my exercise calories. So yeah, getting to 121ish was maintainable and achievable. I
Then life hit (read: school, and cold weather). My walks became shorter, my eating changed, and my focus shifted from maintaining my weight, to living a healthy, balanced life. I started strength training more, and incorporating other types of fitness (like swimming and biking and weight lifting) into my routine. I indulged in more sweets. I cooked with life and with exuberance. I ate well. I moved my body as much as possible. I
In short. Yes. I gained weight. Not all of it has been muscle either. But. That's. Oh. Kay. I am still muchos healthier than a lot of the people I know. I still work out 5-6 times a week. I have let myself let go of the numbers associated with being skinny, and have embraced health and embraced life. I haven't weighed myself in 2+ weeks, but I know that I haven't changed much. I weight between 128-130. I am a size 4. I am healthy. I am happy.
How does this translate into being thankful? I am thankful for my healthy habits, that have remained and persevered even when I was scared, obsessed, and stressed.