0315 - I have eaten way too many chocolate and cadbury cookies. Why can’t I just stop at one? I succeed at everything but cutting back on my chocolate. This needs to stop. How did I get off of McDonalds? I quit eating meat. How am I going to get off of Chocolate? Quit eating it.
0745 - At home and cleaning out my cupboards of all the chocolate. I can’t bear to throw it all out, so I bagged it up and put it in my closet to give to my little sister in her lunches. What am I going to miss the most? Definitely the Caramel Cashew Bars from Planet Organic. They definitely need to go in the trash or I will eat em all up. Damn. I wish I hadn’t bought all of these Luna Bars and Terry’s Chocolate Orange Mini’s. Sis will get those too. I can’t bear to get rid of the Peanut Butter Fiber 1 Bars, Strawberry Fiber 1 Bars, and Chocolate PB2 (purchased online = expensive). They will remain until they are eaten and healthy chocolate-free Granola bars and Regular PB2 will be purchased from here on out.
0800 - My last bite of chocolate is a Caramel Nut Brownie Luna Bar. It is divine. My second last bite of chocolate was a quarter of a Caramel Cashew Bar. It was (and still is) heaven.
0830 - Time for sleep after a night shift.
1130 - No chocolate for me. PB Toast and a Smoothie for a pre-spin class snack.
1400 - Standing in line at Tim Hortons: I want a chocolate timbit. I want a Candy Cane Donut. I want a Toasted Coconut chocolate timbit. I want a Honey Crueller (the most unhealthy) timbit. I want a Dutchie. Yes. I thought all of these thoughts in the 2 mins I was in the line up. I leave Tim’s with a Large Coffee (1/2 Cream, 1 Milk), and a White Candy Cane Hot Chocolate for the Sis. I want to try it. I don’t.
1515 - I am typing this up. Let me clarify: I am still going to enjoy dessert, just not chocolate. No chocolate chips in cookies, no chocolate pudding, no chocolate ice cream. Other desserts (ex. Cappuccino Ice Cream or Vanilla Pudding) will be enjoyed when desired but they lack a lot of the lure that chocolate does. I am hypothesizing that my dessert intake will be reduced dramatically. I am hopeful that my taste buds will once again change and fruit will become sweet enough to tame the choco-beast within me. I am scared of the very probable withdrawal.
1800 - I bought some healthier chocolate free desserts like sugar free
dulce de leche pudding, fruit cups, apple sauce and chocolate free
2120 - I “relapsed”. I ate 2 Mini LeClerc Celebration Cookies and a 100 Calorie Purdy’s Peanut Butter Finger when putting together a dessert platter for a New Years Party tomorrow. I am not being too hard on myself. I will go to sleep and start again fresh. There will be slip ups, more as I try to get myself off of this in the first place. Once I get the healthy habit engrained the slip ups will become less and less.