Well, I have pretty much abandoned the no junk food challenge. Yup. It was a solid attempt and I got about 5 days in without anything, but the chocolate won. I almost felt like the fact that I "couldn't" have it made me obsess about it even more. In the end, I went through my bag of "junk" put some of the food that was taking up cupboard space in my disaster kit (Yes, I have a disaster kit), and called it a day. It was good while it lasted, but I am a girl who loves her sweets, and when I let myself have them I tend to demonstrate fairly good moderation.
Over the last few weeks though, with everything that has been going on - Work, Tutorial, Thanksgiving - I think this fact got away from me. I can eat a delicious cookie and be satisfied. I can have a hundred calorie ice cream stick for dessert and not want any more. I lost 70lb and I ate chocolate. Every. Single. Day. So what if I had a bad few weeks? Bad weeks happen. Smart people acknowledge them and move on.
I have written posts like this before. When I write these posts I always find my motivation to be good to myself spikes and I do well. Again, this is the ebb and flow of being healthy. Is this still new to me? Yes. This time last year, I was head over heels for a boy who didn't appreciate me. I was 155lb. I hated my body and my lack of "will power". I ate meat.
What has changed in a year?
Self discovery, Self love, Self worth.
I have run 2 10km races and a half marathon and plan to run another 2 half marathons next summer. I have joined indoor soccer, and scored a freaking goal in my first game. I exercise consistently. I move because I love it, not because I need it. I don't consume any meat, and try to limit my meat intake. I demonstrate fairly good moderation, and eat healthy about 70-80% of the time.
I am so happy.
I wrote a post at the beginning of 2011 about finding my Serenity. I wanted happiness, health, confidence, and acceptance. I have accomplished this. I made the decisions to get to the place that I am. I, alone, am responsible for my life and my decisions. I have maintained this since I decided to stop losing weight at the end of June. I will maintain this for the rest of my life.
I have worked my butt off to get here. A few bad weeks won't tear me down. I love who I have become and I plan on loving myself for the rest of my life. Sometimes that self love requires a few extra cookies, a piece of cake, or an ice cream bar, but most of the time that self love appreciates veggies, fruits, and whole grains, with a little dark chocolate on this side for antioxidants.