healthy |ˈhelθē|adjective ( healthier , healthiest )in good health: : feeling fit and healthy.• (of a part of the body) not diseased : healthy cells.• indicative of, conducive to, or promoting good health : a healthy appetite | a healthy balanced diet.• (of a person's attitude) sensible and well balanced : a healthy contempt for authority.• figurative in a good condition• desirable; beneficial• A conscious choice; A life-long commitment.

Monday, May 30, 2011

20 Ways to Love Your Body

-Via Operation Beautiful-
  1. Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.
  2. Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.
  3. Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
  4. Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.
  5. Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
  6. Don’t let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
  7. Wear comfortable clothes that you like, that express your personal style, and that feel good to your body.
  8. Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
  9. Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!
  10. Be your body’s friend and supporter, not its enemy.
  11. Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months. Your body is extraordinary–begin to respect and appreciate it.
  12. Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
  13. Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
  14. Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don’t exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good. Exercise for the Three F’s: Fun, Fitness, and Friendship.
  15. Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.
  16. Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself–without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!
  17. Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, “I’m beautiful inside and out.”
  18. Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself.
  19. Start saying to yourself, “Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way.”
  20. Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.

Inches in a Month/Weigh In

Waist: 26.5in (-0.5)
Hips: 36in (-1)
Chest: 35in
Thigh: 21in
Arm: 11.5in (-0.5)

I lost 2 inches in the past month! That's fantastic :)

Stepped on the scale again this morning, just because I figured I was measuring and should also weigh, and somehow, I managed to lose the 0.5 I gained and then an extra pound? I don't know how it happened over night, water weight I suppose, but either way I moved the scale to different parts of the bathroom floor, let it shut off completely before stepping on it again and sure enough all 5 times it said 129. So we will go with it!


That's in the Freaking 120's!!! How did I manage that one!?

How exciting! Haha

Well I am just finishing up a delicious breakfast of Pineapple, Mango, Banana, and Vanilla Greek Yogurt and I am going to hit the gym.


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Weekly Recap

Today I got up bright and early, strapped on my new Training Belt (the thing with the water bottles) and headed out for my long run. To change things up I decided to run in Red Deer today, and for anyone who knows Red Deer, I ran from the Collicut Center to the 67th street Bridge, and back, which is a distance of 12.5km. Felt good the entire run, although I knew my pace was a little bit slower. Either way, the distance felt good, the hill was killer, and I enjoyed myself.

I stepped on the scale this morning and weighed in at 130.5, up .5 since Tuesday. I think I need to own up to the shitty choices I made this week that led to this .5 gain. Am I upset with the gain? No, not really, there is no one to blame but myself, and after reviewing my less than stellar food diary for the week, I absolutely know why I had the gain and what I need to change to lose that .5, and then my additional little bit so I have a buffer. 127 is definitely sounding like my magic number. That way I have a 3lb buffer so that if I retain water or over indulge I wont be upset if I go up and down a bit.

Poor Choices:
  • I ate out after my 10k at Mohave Grill, I ate the Veggie Quesadilla and Roasted Potatoes with Lotsa Chipolte Mayo
  • I Baked Cookies; Hahaha remember the last post saying I had no ability to bake? Well I was bit by the baking bug, and decided cookies would hit the spot. I didn't use a recipe. Nope. I went at it without one and hoped they would turn out. Ingredients used: Apple sauce, graham crackers, chocolate chipits, sliced almonds, cocoa, almond butter, cinnamon, ext.... just to name a few. They turned out really good and I may or may not have overindulged on cookies for supper one night. Needless to say, I got a hold of myself and threw the rest of the batch in the garbage!
  • I had a Night Shift and over compensated with food because the last night shift I worked I had a hypoglycemic attack and nearly fainted in a patients room. Because I didn't want this to happen again I ate a bit too much. I need to find a balance and will continue working on this throughout the summer.
  • At an Educational day at work 2 of the girls brought cookies - yes, cookies - and I, you guessed it, ate too many of them!
Such as life! This was a very filled week, and now that I was able to look back and see that all of these food related events occurred, I will better know how to handle weeks like this in the future.

That's all for right now. Have a good week :)

Damn You Artifical Sweeteners!

- This is the Post that was deleted when Blogger was down -
Artificial Sweeteners and I do no get a long. We are not friends in any way. I hate the aspartame-y taste. I hate the fact that it is pure chemicals. I hate the fact that they are SO damn popular and found in SO many diet-type foods. WHY!?

One of my favorite foods is Yogurt. I eat it every day. It has protein and calcium and I find it filling and sweet. Unfortunately most yogurt is loaded with artificial sweetener, especially the lighter versions. I recently purchased Silhouette Satisfaction Strawberry because it had the added fiber and protein and was decent in calories, but I couldn't even finish the whole pack because I just couldn't get past the fake taste. Seriously gross. My favorite Yogurt right now is the Source Dessert Selections - The one with Chocolate Raspberry, Cafe Late, Strawberry, and Caramel - They are like pudding! But I hate the fact that they have artificial sweeteners in them. Yes, they don't have that gross taste, but also, Yes, I have a bigger sweet tooth when I am consuming more Aspartame and Sucralose.

They go hand in hand. If I have a Splenda in my morning coffee, guaranteed my mind will tell me I need 2 chocolate cookies instead of 1 for dessert. I can fight it all I want, but the cravings are INTENSE. For that reason, I cut all added packs of Splenda out of my diet, and when I drink coffee (whether it be from home or from Starbucks) I use the full sugar version because I am less likely to have cravings later in the day.

My next task is to try cutting out artificially sweetened Yogurt. I picked up some Astro 1% Plain yogurt yesterday and played around with sweetening it with Jam, Maple Syrup, Cocoa, Vanilla, and Cinnamon. Definitely not as good... but still Okay for calories and nothing processed, which for me, outweighs the taste.

So now, my questions for you:
  1. Have you tried Stevia? I haven't done any research on it, but I have heard its "all natural" Gimmick? Not a Gimmick? Yummy? Gross? I like that they have flavors like Chocolate Raspberry and Vanilla. What are your suggestions?
  2. Agave Nectar - Another thing I have read about on blogs but not looked in to. Also has lots of intriguing flavors. Any recommendations?
  3. Whats your favorite type of yogurt? Any ideas of brands that I can try that are Canadian?
Have a healthy, happy day!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Post Night Shift Post & Award!

Worked a Night Shift last night, which was slightly stressing as the last time I worked a Night I had a hypoglycemic attack and nearly passed out in a patients room - not good times. Yesterday I managed a 2.5hr nap, ate as minimally as possible during the day so I could save my calories for night, and filled up on raw fruits and veggies with cottage cheese. I had a Medium Coffee with 1 Cream and 1 Sugar (as to not spike the sugars!) and I did surprisingly well. I felt a little funny driving home this morning, but all in all it was successful and I didn't feel too exhausted. I passed out almost immediately though when I got home, and slept till noon. As I am only doing the one shift for now I didn't want to screw up my sleeping patterns that much, so now I still feel slightly funny, almost like a mini hangover without the nausea.

That's the look that is on my face right now. My first Blog Award EVER!

The Rules:
  • Thank the person and link them in your post.
  • Tell ten things about yourself.
  • Nominate your bloggers.
  • Go to their blogs and let them know you've given them an award!
First the shout out last week, and now an award! I feel so special :) Thank you ThunderThighs. You are inspirational and motivating and funny and upbeat. I love your blog!

Ten Things About Me - My apologies that these are really random and short! I didn't want to bore you all!
  1. My favorite food is Banana's. I can't get enough of them, and I could probably eat them at every meal if they weren't packed with sugar. I eat a banana every morning for breakfast.
  2. I think I am going to get Arthritis by the time I am 30. Legit. Every bone and joint cracks in my body when I move and I have terrible crepitus in my shoulders, spine, and hips. I recently started taking Omega 3 and Glucosamine, and have noticed that the stiffness (Yes, stiffness. Yes, I am only 20) I feel in the mornings has gone down, so I am hoping this well help lube me up and hold off the arthritis for a bit longer.
  3. Britney Spears is my favorite music artist. Love her to bits and proud of it!
  4. I can't bake. Not cookies, cakes, pies, nothing. I always find a way to mess it up. This is probably a good thing considering my mouth filled with sugar-seeking teeth.
  5. My favorite TV show is True Blood. My favorite Book series is the Charlaine Harris True Blood Novels. Anyone else read them!?
  6. I have this thing with names, faces, and celebrity tidbits - Photographic memory of sorts? It's random, but I always remember a name and a face, and stupid little facts about the celebs - Why can't I apply this to nursing or pathophysiology!?
  7. My favorite movie is Notting Hill :) I have seen it countless times.
  8. I believe in Harm Reduction and am a huge advocate for clean needle and pipe distribution. I could do a thousand blog posts on this topic.
  9. My biggest fear is Tornado's, it is a serious phobia for me, Panic Attacks and all.
  10. I want to help as many people as I can with weight loss, whether it be through this blog, one-on-one in email, MFP, ext.. I love talking about nutrition and exercise. If you ever are feeling down about your journey, I am a quick email away. I respond to everyone and I am so grateful for those who take the time to read my blog and comment on my posts. You all continue to inspire me to stay healthy!
Phew - 10 things are hard to think of!

My Nominees
  • Amanada @ Busting Through It - My continuous inspiration to lose weight. She inspired me to create a blog and without her influence I would not have had the success that I have had.
  • Paulina @ Fabulously Skinny - Such a cute blog design and great success so far on her journey!
  • Anna @ Diary of A Former Food Addict - I swear the words she writes could come straight from my mouth! I love reading her posts because I relate so well to them.
These are just a few of the Blogs that I follow - I wanted to give the award to those who (**I think**) had yet to receive it.

Off to have a snack of Banana soft serve because I didn't have my Banana with cereal this morning! Have a great day lovely Readers and thank you for being wonderful!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

A Week of Milestones

This has been a week full of milestones for me! I ran my first 10K on Sunday and killed it, and today I stepped on the scale to reveal that I had hit my next weight goal of 130lb. Sweet! That means that I get to finally wear this customized necklace that I purchased for myself off of Gracie And Me Designs. I bought this necklace as a symbol for what I have accomplished through weight loss. It is personalized, hand stamped metal, the 60 representing how many pounds I have lost, the word "confidence" for what has been the biggest reward for me for losing this weight and the little ruby jewel represents my birth stone.
I think it is so important to treat yourself a long the way. This is not an easy journey for anyone, and regardless of how long it takes, setting goals a long the way will help you stay motivated and feeling rewarded for the hard work you put in.

So what now? Well I supposed I will just continue with the way I am doing things. I am trying to listen to my body, and to be good to it through eating healthy, whole foods, and exercising often. Half marathon training started today with a 2 mile run of fartleks, and tomorrow before my night shift I will do a 4 mile run. I am going to continue with eating the foods I love, while maintaining my satisfaction levels and not being hungry. If I continue to lose, then my body has not reached its "happy spot" yet, and if I maintain, then I will know that I have.

My journey is not over. Far from it. I now have to learn about this lovely little thing called maintenance. I need to learn how to balance in take with output so that I am not left with too much of a deficit or too much over eating. Weight gain doesn't happen over night. Weight loss doesn't happen over night. Weight maintenance takes a lifetime of effort, especially for those recovering from binge eating and emotional eating.

Have a good week everyone! Make healthy choices and be kind to yourself :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

10K Start

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Woody's 10K

Woke up at 6am sharp, laying in bed I thought to myself "Well, this is the day." and I rolled around a bit to see how my legs were feeling - Better than yesterday, but still sore, about a 7/10 on the soreness scale (They were easily at 9 yesterday). Got dressed in my killer green outfit - can you tell its my favorite color!? and headed downstairs to make my favorite pre-run breakfast: 2 Blueberry + Wheat Eggos, 1 small smashed banana, 2tbsp Light Maple Syrup, 1tbsp Mini Chocolate Chipits, 1tbsp Sliced Almonds, Yum. Through trial and error I have found that this is the breakfast that works for me - just enough carbs to energize, but not too many to feel heavy. Woke up my dad and got him to come take a pre-run picture of me. What nice weather for a run! Said farewell to my father - he was going to come at about 9:25 (an hour and 10 minutes after the race started - I figured that would be about my race time so he could watch me cross the finish line), and off I went.

At the Race
Arrived at the race. So many smiling, happy, enthusiastic people there, all with the same goal: RUN. It didn't matter if you were running the 10k, half or full marathon, everyone was so supportive and encouraging. There were people everywhere! The atmosphere was one of excitement, and the weather felt just right. I ran in to my lovely brother, who was dropping off his father-in-law (an amazing man who has done so many marathons and is so educational on running), what a lovely surprise! He said he would stick around and watch me start (as the 10k started 15 min after the marathon). I was glad for this, it was nice to have the support, because I was slightly nervous. My legs still registered at about a 6-7/10, but all I could think was positive thoughts, that I could do this, I was strong enough. I was so grateful to be there. I kept telling myself I was strong, I could do this. After the marathon-ers started, the 10k-ers lined up. The 300 people were a-buzz with excitement, I could feel it. Gun went off, and so we started.

I waved to my bro, happy to see that he was videotaping me! I hope to get a copy of the video for memory-sake! And that's when I felt my focus shift. My legs no longer felt sore - thank goodness. I kept my pace comfortable, I didn't care about time, I didn't care about the people running around me - I was racing for myself, and my only goal was to run the entire race.

Running, running, running. Enjoying my kick ass playlist. Enjoying the sunshine. Enjoying reaching the km markers. Then this lovely thought popped in to my mind that made the race that much better: "I am so lucky to be alive on this beautiful day". I love it when thoughts like this happen. When you truly awaken to the world and immerse yourself in what your doing.

I kept running. Not worrying about anything other than how I was feeling - which was amazing. To be surrounded by people who are there to accomplish the same goals as you, who love to run and be active, is so inspirational. I focused on how blessed I was, how strong I felt, and how far I have come. We came to a hill at the 7km mark - a fairly steep one, and I pumped myself up, sped up my pace, and ran the whole way up. That gave me an adrenaline boost to keep going.

The running continued to kilometer 9, where we hit the final hill on the way to the finish line. I pushed myself, and ran the whole way up. Down the hill was nice, and it was a fantastic boost to see the finish line. I turned the corner and headed in. I saw the clock - 1:03. WOAH. Did I actually run that fast!? I didn't feel like I was running that fast! I pulled out my headphone, so I could hear the people cheering, and the announcer say my name, "3221, this is Laura Norman's first 10k! Great job Laura" - HAH! He called the wrong name. Made me smile. And I crossed the finish line.

Post-Race Glow
My official time was 1:03:17. That is a pace of 6min 21sec/km. WOW! The fastest I had run 10km in the past was 70min, on a treadmill, with zero incline. That's a phenomenal time improvement. I felt fantastic. Because I had run so darn fast, my dad hadn't arrived yet! I had no clue I would be so speedy. I was walking towards my car to get my phone to let him know I was done and ran in to him! He was just as surprised as I was! He took this picture of me - I think I look like I am glowing in it. So accomplished and strong and proud.

We caught up with my brother and sister-in-law to watch the father-in-law finish the half marathon. It was nice to be able to cheer him on. He finished in 1:47, and got #1 in his age category of 60+! So awesome!
My father - the best man I know. I love him to bits. So glad he came to support me! After the race I came home and had a nap, I was beat. My legs are pretty sore, but other than that I feel great! I most definitely will be signing up for some more races this summer! I can see how it is addicting.

Went out for a family supper to Mohave Grill and had the Vegetable Quesadilla and Roasted Potatoes with Chipolte Mayo. I ate WAY too much, but I am okay with it. Days like this don't happen for me practically ever, and I don't consider occurrences like this to be "off track", they happen, its a part of life. So tomorrow I will get back to my usual day-to-day eating habits, which are delicious and healthy :) Gosh, I am in a great place right now.

One more thing before I end this post. I had a "Shout Out" from Thunder Thighs, which is my very first shout out ever! Thank you SO much! So I wanted to shout her out too :) Cause she is awesome and inspiring.

Have a fabulous week everyone!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Pre-Race Jitters

I went against my training schedule. Instead of taking yesterday and today off, I went to an exercise class yesterday that I had never done before, and today, my legs are feeling it. Like a lot. Like to the point where it hurts to walk, it hurts to go from sitting to standing, and it even is uncomfortable when I push the gas pedal and clutch when I drive. Shit. Way to go Amie! Couldn't have just followed Hal Higdon's training schedule to a tee like you have the past 8 weeks. NOOOO you had to go and switch it up last minute.

I am hoping the lactic acid disperses before tomorrow morning. Either way, I will obviously run, but I would prefer to do it relatively pain free, as I suspect any one would haha.

Rain is in the forecast for tomorrow. Yipee. Have I mentioned that I have never run in the rain? Yep, well I haven't. So tomorrow might be my first time! Another lovely speed bump to slow me down. Ah well, Rain or Shine, I run.

So I am starting to feel slightly nervous for the events of tomorrow. I know it is only 10k, and I know I can run that distance, but I just hope all the other little details work themselves out. I hope I don't have to pee the whole run. I hope I don't have a hypoglycemic attack. BAH! I need to stop worrying.

I made a new kick ass running playlist.
I have trained for 2 months for this.
I know my perfect pre-run breakfast to get me moving and keep me energized.
I can do this.

Wish me luck! Will post details and pictures tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Mid Week Scale Peek *shhh*

I got up this morning and felt like I wanted to step on the scale. I stopped, assessed the feeling, and realized that I wasn't feeling obsessive about it, and the results wouldn't effect the rest of my day, I simply just wanted to see.

I think this is a powerful thing. I had some emotional issues come up last night with my Mom, and I controlled myself in a positive manner - I used some self talk, and did activities to take my mind off of it. I reflected on how I would have dealt in the past - by eating. I would have eaten all my junk food. I would have stuffed my face and tummy and gone into a hyperglycemic-coma so that I wouldn't have to face the feelings. Instead, I acknowledged to myself that I did want to feel them.

This got me feeling pretty in control of my life - health, exercise, and spirit. I have changed and the scale doesn't rule my life, my emotions don't rule my life, and food doesn't rule my life. I do. I have the choice to react to situations that are presented to me in a positive manner, to look at them as opportunities of growth rather than reasons to binge or invert from life.

"When you have reached the end of your rope, tie a knot, and hang on." - This quote stuck with me yesterday. With my Mom and her Issues, I have no idea what to do, I don't feel like I have the strength to listen to details, so I just acknowledge her actions and close her off. This has been my coping mechanism in the past, and although it probably isn't the best, it is reflected through that quote.

SO. On a more positive note!!! 2 exciting points:
  1. Weight on the Scale this morning: 131.5; HOLY SMOKES. I stepped off, let the scale turn off, and stepped back on 4 times just to make sure. Well, I got the same number every time! I don't know if it is because TOM came early and so I was retaining a little water on Sunday, or what, but either way it was pretty exciting.
So yes, Overall I am in a pretty good spot right now, and I truly believe that good things are headed my way.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

I Love Long Runs :)

Sunday Long Runs - You make my world better. Doesn't matter if its Windy, Rainy, Sunny, or a Little Bit Snowy, I don't think I could live without you anymore.

Its turning a beautiful shade of green here, and spring is all around. It's about time! With that though, the wind has decided to make its presence known for the past 4 days. It is crazy outside! It pushes you off your feet whichever way you chose to run.

I had a great run regardless of the wind. I pushed through it, kept reminding myself how strong I was, and ran 11.15km in 1hr 20min! Not bad at all :) I am so excited for the 10k next Sunday! It is going to amazing! I am trying to update my running playlist so that I can have some fresh new tunes to rock out to when I run. Any suggestions of upbeat, faster tempo songs would be greatly appreciated and I would love you forever!

I have been thinking a lot recently about my "happy weight" and how to know when I have reached the point of stopping my weight loss and starting my maintenance. It is not some black and white line for me where you switch from one mode in to the other. I weighed in today and stayed strong at 133. I am okay with that. I had a few rough days at the start of this week including a hypoglycemic attack leading to me eating a muffin and drinking hot chocolate, and then the following day eating too much sweetener and not being able to say no to the 10 Hershey's kisses sitting on the table. All in all though it was an Okay week, I worked out 6 days, did hot yoga, jazzercise, 2 exercise classes, and ran.

I am to the point where I love exercising. I never thought I would get there, but I have. I don't like to go a day without some sort of physical activity that I enjoy. It's fun for me! That's a huge NSV for me. There's the odd day when my brain says I don't want to, but deep down I know I do. My eating habits are at a spot where I rarely make terrible decisions, and I can go to a restaurant and not feel controlled by the food. I feel in control. It's freeing.

Maybe I have reached a happy weight then? Maybe the scale will decide to stay stagnant? Either way, my goal number is still 130, because it is right in the middle of my range, but if it takes me 3 years to get there, well heck, its only 3lb, I think I will live.

My goals are to just keep doing what I am doing - exercise, eating right, being mindful when I sit down to eat with no distractions. Those are the keys to my healthy/happy state.

What are your thoughts on this topic? How do you define a happy weight?

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Mental Game of Exercise

Let me start by saying Cafe Mosaics was DELISH. I had the Spicy BBQ Chik'n Burger and house salad for my meal, which was cooked just right - not too light, not too heavy, I finished the entire plate of food. For dessert - the Vegan Chocolate Cake. Heaven. So Yummy! It was fluffy, rich, and tasted homemade. There was a scoop of Chocolate Soy Ice Cream on the side and it was drizzled with Chocolate Sauce and had 2 raspberries. I wish I had taken a picture.

Andrew - being the picky eater that he is - had the Caesar Salad (snooze), which he said was decent, but missing bacon. What a guy. He loved the Chocolate Cake though. No surprise. He tried a bite of my Burger and said "It's not as bad as I imagined it would be, but real chicken is better." To each his own :) At least he tried it.

Went to my Mom's house after to spend some quality time with her and my sister for Mother's day. It was fun. We chatted and watched a movie. Overall Edmonton was a success.

This morning I woke up at my mom's house to rain clouds. Uh Oh. This is long run day and I just signed up for a half marathon, which means I need to do it. I toyed with the idea of putting it off till tomorrow. I toyed with the idea of only doing 3 miles instead of the 6.2 I needed to do. I contemplated running in the rain. I contemplated running on the treadmill. I contemplated just not doing it at all. It was a mental game. I knew what I had to do. But I did NOT want to do it.

I drove back from Edmonton, went to Save-On-Foods to buy a new water bottle and some fruit, and headed straight to the gym. It felt a little too chilly to run outside - yes, I am baby. Got to the gym and told myself "Just start out and see how far you get, if you can't do it all, at least you will do some of it."

70 minutes and 20 seconds later I finished my 10k on the treadmill.


Why do I still play this game with myself? I always feel better after exercise. My body always thanks me for it. Yet I still hum and ha over the idea, like it is even something to consider.

Running is just something I do now. Just like taking my Multivitamin and Calcium in the morning. Just like my square of dark chocolate every day. I run and I exercise 6 days a week.

Maybe one day the mentality will be there 100%. I'd say eating wise I am currently sitting at about 90%, and exercise at about 80%, which is far better than I was 15 months ago. Maybe 100% is unachievable? That would be perfection, haha, and I am definitely not perfect. Maybe I should aim for 90%/90%?

Either way, by September, if I am not considered a "runner" yet, I damn well will be by my Half Marathon!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Dinosaur Half Marathon - September 11, 2011

Holy. Crap.

What have I just done?

I think I may have gone slightly crazy.

I signed up for a Half Marathon.

The Dinosaur Half Marathon
in Drumheller, AB to be exact.

Matthias signed up to, so we will be completing out first ever marathon together! EXCITING!

Seeing all the other lovely blogger's I follow train and run races has inspired me.

Heather @ Leading The Weigh
Keelie @ REAL FAT
Sheryl @ Bitch Cakes
Rachel @ Rachel Shrinking Beautiful
Emily @ Daily Garnish

Thank you for the inspiration!! (my apologies if you are a runner and I missed your name!)

Let the Training Begin! Thank you Hal Higdon!

Weighed In - Day 12

I know. I know. I didn't make it the full 14 days. But rest assured, there was some method of my madness.

I weighed in at 133lb. That is a 1lb loss in 12 days.

I completely understand that this weight loss no longer comes from calorie deficit, but from working out, and I am becoming more accepting of this. A pound is a pound right? Only 1 more pound until I am officially in my "goal range" of 127-132, so that will definitely be a time to celebrate!

I stepped on the scale this morning because of the dynamics of the coming weekend. Tomorrow I am going to Edmonton and a friend and I are going for dinner at a Vegetarian Restaurant. I am SO excited because I have only ever been on one Exclusively Veg Restaurant before and that was in Hamilton. I don't plan on going all out, but I do plan on listening to my body and my head and fully enjoying whatever I chose to get. I am also planning on eating dessert. YUM. Can't Wait!

After said dinner, I am going to my Ma's house in Leduc to spend the night and make breakfast with her for Mothers Day. Again, will limit myself to what my body wants, but am not going to be crazy hard core about what I chose to eat.

This could lead to water retention and a gain on Sunday, and since it has been almost 2 weeks since I stepped on the scale, I wanted an accurate reading.

My next projected scale date will be next Sunday, which is 9 days away. I think I can make it that long :) Just gotta keep pushing through and trying to be healthy.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Day 10 - No Scale

So I am still without scale, but still battling it every night.

Part of me argues - you are in a happy spot, so you should be allowed to step on the scale to see if this happy spot is being maintained or if you are continuing to lose.

The other part of me says - if you are truly in a happy spot than the number doesn't matter.

I am a "need to know" kind of girl. I hate surprises. I like control. So even though both points are true - I am happy, but do I REALLY need to know the number - maybe I am better off being allowed to check? It is my body. It is my choice. Right?

Starting on the Maternity unit I have been talking with new moms and one common question asked is whether or not the family knew the sex of the baby. I am the type of girl who would NEED to know the sex the second I find out I was preggers. Waiting for the Ultrasound would be painful and the thought of this is part of my aversion to actually having children one day at all.

I think this urgency transcends into every aspect of my life and although it is a work in progress, I do think it is something that will stick with me throughout life. I like to multitask, take on too much, eat too fast, rush, drive quick, never be late, and know everything about everything. That's the Type-A Personality that I am. So is not stepping the scale unnecessary torture? Is it REALLY teaching me any lesson that I don't already know about myself?

Maybe I should go back to weekly weigh in's after this 2 weeks is up? I guess we will see on Sunday when I make my way to my basement to face the dreaded little digital monster.

Monday, May 2, 2011

My current thoughts on that little thing called Love.

I don’t even know where to begin. When I think about this topic, so many ideas swirl around in my head that it almost seems impossible to decipher, to make my point clear and concise. If you know me, then you know that that is what I am like, to the point, honest, no beating around the bush.

When I think about Love, I feel like I am lost in one of those mazes with really high bushes on both sides of you and you can’t see where you are going, like that Harry Potter Movie.

So what happens to me when I get this confused? I cry. Its unfortunate, but that is how my emotions express themselves. Always through tears.

Maybe I will make a list? That always seems to help organize my thoughts, at least a bit.

What Don’t I Want?
  • A Boyfriend. Of that, I am certain. I know this because I just don’t have the time (or are willing to make the time) for just anyone. I have things that I want to accomplish this summer, I have fitness goals, professional goals, eating goals, and the general boy population just doesn’t fit in with that. It would take an exceptional person to make me change my mind.
  • To Lower My Standards. Another certainty. I have made some... poorer... choices in the past, and these past 2 months that I have been completely alone have given me a lot of time to think about that and to change my perspective about myself, my love life, and my priorities. I have a very high set of expectations, and I am not willing to waste my time on someone who doesn’t meet them, or be in the process of striving to meet them, why bother?
  • To be one of those “easy” girls. I’m absolutely proud of my body, my mind, my personality, everything. I love myself 100%, and that means I value what I have to offer this world. I am not willing to “put out” to just anyone, so that I can gain the approval of some guy. That aint my style and never will be.
Where does this leave me? With zero prospects. As a young woman who is not seeking a boyfriend, or casual relations, it is hard to find any kind of companionship. Should I be surprised? Of course not. Does it suck? Yup. Guys my age want easy girls, and guys older than me want girlfriends, there is no middle ground.

What Do I Want?
  • Happiness. Whether I find that alone, or with someone else, well, I guess the universe will let me know.
  • Someone with the same lifestyle as me. I am an extremely healthy person - I exercise 6 days a week, I eat right, I am a vegetarian, I rarely drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs. Now I know asking for a vegetarian partner is pushing the limits, and certainly they don’t have to be vegetarian for me to give them the time of day, but I don’t want to date someone who eats Ice Cream Cake for Supper and who wants me to skip the gym so we can hang out. Thats a big no-no in my books, and a quick way to make me lose interest.
  • True Love. I am a romantic at heart. I want to be swept off my feet by Mr. Right. This is contradicting to me not wanting a Boyfriend, but I think if someone exceptional came along, I would change my mind.
Where does this leave me? Again with zero prospects. I mean obviously I am very happy right now on my own, but I don’t go out to the bars a lot, I am more of a home-body or gym-rat (my gym is for women only... yaaaay.), so where am I to meet someone?

And true love. Hah. Right now, I scoff at the idea. This makes me sad... because I believe (or at least used to believe) in True Love and Soul Mates and everything romantic. At this present moment I am more jaded... I am questioning my beliefs surrounding these ideas.

Lets look at the list:
  • Matthias, my ex. 5 years spent together. 5 good years. He is the best man I know. Funny, Charming, Healthy, Vegetarian, Committed to his obligations, Responsible. For a long time, I thought he was my soul mate. We were a bad influence on each other in the healthy lifestyle department, but after we broke up we found our feet and both live the exact same lifestyle, but apart. He works out of town, 2 weeks out, 1 week in, so I only get to see him on his week when he is home, but when we hang out we have lots of fun together, we work out, go to the movies, watch the UFC fights, laugh, walk our dog, it’s good. I am confused. He has all the attributes I want in a man. We both have similar life goals. He is my best friend and the only other person besides my dad that I trust in this world. I haven’t let myself explore any feelings of sexual attraction with him, because I don’t want to screw up our friendship. I like our relationship right now, but I dont like it when he picks me up to watch the fights so that I don’t have to waste gas, and then blows me off onto his roommate when we are done and gets him to drive me home because he wants to hang out with another girl. I know I shouldn’t expect any different, we have no sexual relationship, but it still... hurts.
..... That’s it. (The guy I met at the Bar a few weeks ago just isn’t worth it.)

Where does this leave me? Young, not ready to settle down, possibly made a huge mistake (long term) when I ended it with Matthias, currently happy on my own, wondering if I will be alone forever now, questioning the existence of true love, relying (unfortunately) on fate to guide me, completely hopeless.

I don’t even think writing this out helped settle my confusion, it just transferred it to visible words so that others can now read about it, haha.

I need a miracle.