healthy |ˈhelθē|adjective ( healthier , healthiest )in good health: : feeling fit and healthy.• (of a part of the body) not diseased : healthy cells.• indicative of, conducive to, or promoting good health : a healthy appetite | a healthy balanced diet.• (of a person's attitude) sensible and well balanced : a healthy contempt for authority.• figurative in a good condition• desirable; beneficial• A conscious choice; A life-long commitment.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Just been 'Off' Lately...

To me, weight loss is a process where you have some weeks that are really freaking great, and other weeks where you want to eat everything in sight. It is like an ebb and flow, a wave of good, followed by a slump of not so good. Throughout this journey I have had weeks where I have had profound losses, followed by weeks (ahem, months) where my losses are little and I stray from the track a little bit. What has kept me coming back? What has been different this time that has made me reign in my focus to achieve my goals? More importantly, now that I am "Here" why am I suddenly in a weight loss/maintenance slump where I am hungry, experiencing cravings, and feel somewhat out of control?

I am far from perfect.
I still have A LOT to learn.

Right now, during clinical, I am waking up at 5am, but still going to bed at my usual 11pm-12am. I just can't fall asleep before then. It is hard for my body to wind down any time before that. Where does that leave me? Being up 4 hours longer each day, 4 hours where I need to fuel my very active body because I am literally running off my feet ALL day. With time to sit only to chart for 5-10 minutes here and there, and a measly half hour break to scarf down the healthy lunch I have packed and tracked, followed by an hour post conference, and a trip to the gym to get my training in, I am totally beat, and ready to stray. Ready to eat anything in front of me.

Yea, I know that I am exhausted, and I know that is why I am in this semi-frenzy of eating, but my body and brain get so tired that I can't stop, because I feel like I won't be able to make it through the day.

Here are this weeks slip ups: (I want to expose them all, they have all be tracked, but I need a list here so that when I go back and re-read this in the future I will be able to identify my one true trigger food...... the devil that is chocolate)

1. I said I was going to give up Chocolate for Lent. That didn't even last a day. Chocolate is the one "comfort" food remaining in my life, and when in moderation, which I can have most days, I feel like I deserve it. I can't go without it. Plain and simple. It would turn this lifestyle into a diet, and I am so not about that.

2. Tuesday I ate a piece of store-bought chocolate cake because they were giving it out at the hospital. Was it good? Meh, it was decent.. Not really worth the 8 points I tracked for it. I did however (NSV) do an extra 40 minutes of cardio at the gym to try and make up for it, which felt good.

3. Thursday I ate an individual sized Kit-Kat, Pizza crust (just the crust, the pizza part had meat on it), and an extra square of chocolate with dinner.

4. Friday, today was my biggest downfall. I think it because I am the most tired today of all the days this week? Monday and Wednesday, when I wasn't at the hospital, were my best days, probably because I got to sleep in to my regular time (between 8 and 9am). Today I ate 5 Pot of Gold Chocolates (tracked at 2p+ each), and a homemade nanimo square (best nanimo bar I have ever had might I say, tracked at 7p+). By the end of today I will have had a 50 point plus day. But because the points were used on silly sugar instead of filling protein or fiber I am still left feeling hungry.

5. Saturday - My dad's birthday dinner at the Keg. I am going to order a House Salad, Dressing on the Side (3p+), but I am also going to order Sweet Potato Fries because they are my favorite and I rarely eat out (15p+).

So where I have "Gone Right"?

1. Water - I am getting in at least 2L a day.
2. Activity - I have earned 30AP's this week, including strength training, 6.5 miles run and an hour and a half of random cardio.
3. Tracking - Regardless of the eating, it has all been tracked, even my entire Saturday, leaving me with a total of 4 WP's left, and all my AP's.

What have I learned? Tiredness does not do the body well. (See Picture - My Kitty Olivia is just as tired as I am) I miss my sleep. I look forward to the next month flying by so that I can be done school and resume my normal sleeping patterns.

What have I unfortunately accepted? This week, I may have a gain. But that happens. Will I regain all 52lb lost? No. Maybe 1 or 2, hell I might even see a 3lb gain, but I can lose that again, with a little extra effort. I have preached on the boards: Consistency and Commitment, and although this week my eating hasn't been consistent, my commitment to tracking it has been. I will get through this, just as I have all the other times, and I will take what I learn and be a better and healthier person from it.

Can't have success without setbacks. I just hope this slump isn't too long. I will let you know the results of my weigh in on Sunday. Hope you all are having a better week than I am! :)